我遇過嘅豬同事

cc photo by flickr user Dan Belanescu

話說墳總分享蠢同事對得多真係傷身,我轉過唔少工,對過唔少豬閪,咁就係咁易分享下自己嘅部份經歷啦~

通常豬閪最大嘅問題係唔知自己豬閪,仲周圍俾意見、改人嘅嘢、challenge人,有好大部分仲要係無common sense得嚟仲唔知自己無common sense。例如,女同事A:

喺我用電郵black and white好detailed咁brief完個graphic designer之後,佢話個designer唔會睇,叫我打電話去口頭brief佢…出嚟做嘢唔睇black and white玩口講口賠,好嘢!

Designer交貨後我好客氣咁講句我哋睇完會俾comment佢。隔兩日個project in charge同事A真係問我做咩唔comment,我答:「你有final say,梗係你comment啦。你滿意唔通我話唔滿意?你唔滿意我滿意都無用㗎?咁做咩要嘥時間呢?」好難得,有人聽完我咁講都仍然堅持要我嘥時間,跟手佢overrule我嘅comment。

同事A問咗句book架5.5噸貨車點樣俾錢,有人答佢俾cash,佢問我做咩唔答佢,踩到上心口我好自然咁答:「我以為book貨車俾cash係common sense,唔知要答你。」佢仲死撐:「俾cheque唔得㗎?」我答:「你話得咪得囉。」

同一位八婆仲有無數例子:搵我幫手draft嘢in bullet points,我俾幾個point佢仲要in complete sentence佢嫌短,其實唔識解bullet points可以google下;寫中文電郵以機構身份下款唔落人名但內容用「您」字(題外話,我見親人寫「您」字就想講粗口),另外仲有應該將拒絕人嘅原因generalized賴落policy又唔generalized,夠膽死同人講無時間entertain佢;戶外event需要幾包冰,我話咗俾佢聽5分鐘walking distance有兩間7-eleven,佢話要去七仔落訂;寫正常嘅formal letter,得一版紙,用point form(雖然好多人已經覺得formal letter用point form無問題)。

講起寫嘢,後生仔未必知,好多時啲人成日話英文好係好重要,其實英文好唔係真係好重要,因為好多中、高層會用改你寫嘅嘢嚟表現自己嘅權力,即使佢哋本身英文奇差,差到連好同唔好都唔識分。尤其係5、60歲以上嘅,唔少英文真係未有C1水平,但會走去改人嘅英文。唔好以為浸過鹹水嘅後生仔就會英文好喎,我就見識過一個美國讀完大學返嚟嘅80後二世祖B指住我寫嘅「…your request would not be entertained.」問點解要用entertained,仲將佢改做allowed。又見過一個董伯伯校友,法律系畢業嘅80後二世祖C,寫咗啲咁嘅英文喺自己個Tee shirt brand網頁度,叫我改但我改完佢用番自己版本…講真,真係英文C2都睇唔明佢寫咩…

“Conquering is tough but sure feels exceptional good as we have reached a milestone in our experiences!”

“Sometimes, just let our ‘rescue toolkit’ fail on us in regardless of time and place, so we can learn from our mistakes and outgrow ourselves in any situation.”

我唔知佢點畢業啦,不過我估佢嘅英文真係未到C1水平。出嚟做嘢頭幾年我係好唔慣啲人鍾意亂改我寫嘅嘢,後尾睇化咗,唔落我名唔好話係我寫嘅你話點改就點改喇,柒咗你認就得。

所以話,其實豬閪同事真係好常見,尤其係你愈聰明就愈睇得出多問題愈唔耐煩,你有本事忍到都傷身,忍唔到一爆就真係最好希望佢會被人炒,如果唔係真係幾麻煩。所以,出嚟打工當你無能力決定人生死嘅時候,真係「Ignorance is bliss」。

aragorn.ho@gmail.com'

明鏡

商科出身,一直認為自己是商界奇才。大學時期嫌課程沉悶,把時間都花在哲學、文學上。近年興趣為時裝、電影。

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